EMO MIDGET!!!!

it's funny, even though this shit is open to people, no one hits it up which leaves me free to babble about whatever the fuck i want.

i wanna slits wrists with an emo midget.

maybe we could listen to hawthorne hieghts and hold each other.

put eyeliner on and shop for our 'little sisters'. those pants are for ME. shhhhh.

let's wear REALLY bright AND dark colors so everyone KNOWS we're different.

i like to write poetry in my blood. it makes my spilled emotions feel far more intense.

wow. like being small or emo wasnt ridiculed enough....this dude combined forces...like the fucking captain planet of mockery....

all the power to ya homie.

down the rabbithole

This has been an interesting few weeks.

I've somehow managed to overcome this overwhelming feeling of anger and rejection that was plaguing me. I was a fucking wreck and one day i decided, fuck it, i have to be more positive. I HAD to be, i was losing my fucking mind.

So i did.

Things just fucking change. You start to see the beauty in the little things. I wake up early sometimes, just to take my 10-15 minute walk to the train instead of the bus. I know that sounds like nothing but in the spring and summer, that walk does wonders for me. The trees and the sound of the birds chirping, the buzzing of the insect world, stupid people walking around with their selfish needs on their sleeves.

It all comes together and you kind of get a glimpse on how big this world truly is and you're just a fraction of what exists. Not to sound corny but it's true. Don't get me wrong, i still have my issues with the issues of life like we all do, and im still loud in expressing those issues but my outlook on things are improving.

They've got to. I'm stuck in this weird fucking place right now. I literally see 2 roads.

One road, is me continuing to let procrastination leave me stagnant and unproductive. I can see what i would look like stuck in this whirlpool of repetition. It's not pretty. It breeds this ugly monster and i can feel him dwell inside me, laying dormant, waiting to for his moment to takeover. and when he comes......there's no turning back.

it. it. it.

that word looks inhumane.

do you ever just stare at a word? sometimes i stare at certain words and they start to lose their meaning. almost like that word shouldn't exist. you can lose sight of those meanings. they serve a purpose. don't get caught by....it

anyway......

The other road i can see, leads to pitch black. Out of the blue and into the black. I'm not sure what's in store for me on this road. It's not as revealing as the other one. This road leads to the point of no return. That spot where the skies and the oceans meet. You've seen it, but you're either too frightened to cross it because you fear the unknown or maybe because you like misery. Maybe you're on that road now. and if you are, you understand me. so few understand.
i think i just entered that road.
I'm scared.
I'm not as asssured as i feel i should be.
I have so many doubts.
I'm not sure what's happened.
or what's happening.
or what's gonna happen.

and that's what excites me the most.

Moment of Clarity....

So i've been really trying to contemplate what i want to do with my life while i try to acheive one of the hardest accomplishments every performer seeks.....success.

So i know i'm still 'only' 22 and i've got a shitload of time, but it's a shitload of time, i've realized, i'm only wasting. So i've decided i HAVE to go back to school, as much as i dread it. I need to prepare myself and set myself up for what i'm hoping will be a very fun, hard, challenging and rewarding life.

That leaves me to go back to my roots. I've searched and continue to search for what i'd want to do in the entertainment industry. I've spoken to the producers, reporters, journalists and many more people at my job, countless times over the past few months, on their professions. It's amazing to see they seem genuinely happy, something i don't think i've truly felt yet, that calm in the universe when everything feels right.

I'm just getting more and more bored everyday. I don't feel like self-pity, it takes too much energy. I just know i have to cut my horrible procrastination and get on with what i've got to do. But the complete and honest truth is.....i don't know what the fuck i want.

I know i want music. I know i want to work hard at it.

But i know at this point, i'm not ready yet. There's something missing. I feel it, this overwhelming feeling that if i don't go and find what i need to do to become successful, everything is gonna pass me by and i'm gonna be left alone and miserable.

This shit has me depressed. There's nothing more confusing then having your heart and logic at odds with each other.

It's a fight that could have serious repercussions. That's what scares the shit outta me.

This life thing is going to get VERY interesting.

searching for my second childhood.

I feel like im looking at shit thru this lense. these grimey, filthy, worn fucking lenses.

things aren't what they used to be.

remember that feeling when halloween and christmas came around, and it FELT like there was something to be excited about.

now all i have is dead faith and pessimistic thoughts of everything i come into contact with.

i hate living thru past emotions. but being a kid coulda been something, were it not for the fucks in junior high who made life a living hell.

i'm working on revenge. the kind that has success at its knees, as well as your enimies.

i don't plot, i plant plans and nurse them, waiting for them to grow into something bigger.

i miss when things werent so complicated. although things were always kinda hectic.

just my mom and i, not much else. people came and went. entered our lives, only to leave forever. im glad most of them are gone.

ive always been man of the house because i was the only real "man" in the house...and that was at 6....

but i remember no bills, no girlfriends, not TOO much bullshit, i was almost completely oblivious to our struggles until i got a bit older.

then things just became mundane, unexciting, uneventful.

i havent seen the world. shiiiiiiiit! i havent seen my own country.

i continue to do the same routines, everyday. night in - night out.

i only get excited for a few things a fucking YEAR.

right now im in limbo between misery and torture. neither place has been fun.

i hope things change. i just hope i can be completely content one day.

taur-bkc

random verse

wisen up homie / need to lessen all this stress


gotta smoke a couple ounces just to get shit off my chest


more or less / im bored as fuck / uninspired and i'm stuck


at least thats how it feels when blowin' up is based on luck


hardly here / smoked myself damn near the atmosphere


fuck it now / ill smuggle clouds / let me reign above the rest!!!


look wow! / i make horizons form above my crowds!


obviously my skies above some limits / near infinite -


amount of time before my mind finds new stars to visit


im completely oblivious to you idiots / selfish pricks / and egotistical hypocrites


continue to ignore me / i was born an underdog


lets engage in dialogue/ bask in marajuana smog


a different song to sing along / light ya blunts and fill ya bongs


blend mills lane with marvin gaye homie "lets get it on"


vivid moments of failin' / the sweetest taste is prevailin'


sailin' along my paper / paintin' pictures / you trace 'em


that throne is lookin' vacant / these dragons were made for slayin'


watch ya crown which is at stake - like salem





i drop gems over heads / forget it their brains are dead


embed it by drainin' pens / dry markers and breakin' lead

WORLD OF THE FLOPPY'S ALBUM RELEASE PARTY!!!!

WHATS UP PEOPLES!!!!!!

SO HERE'S THE DEAL.

WE GOT A SHOW COMING UP ON MARCH 29TH, 2008 AND ITS A SATURDAY.

THIS SPECIAL OCCASION MAKES THE ALBUM RELEASE PARTY FOR COMPLEX

THE NAME OF THE ALBUM IS CALLED "WORLD OF THE FLOPPY'S"

THE LIST OF PEOPLE UP HERE ARE VERY DOPE AND I'D LOVE IT IF POEPLE CAME OUT AND DRANK WITH US AND MADE THIS SHIT FEEL LIKE A HIP HOP SHOW.

HERE ARE THE ARTISTS FOR YOUR LISTENING PLEASURE

http://www.myspace.com/sek2none

http://www.myspace.com/taursolo

http://www.myspace.com/boxguts

http://www.myspace.com/belikos

http://www.myspace.com/castorgrozny

http://www.myspace.com/cplex

TO GET THERE.......

1087 BROADWAY, BROOKLYN, NEW YORK 11221.
Take the J or Z line to Kosciusko St. or to Myrtle Ave. and walk a few blocks.

Call them at 718-453-6343 if you're lost!! they'll help you!

these heads aint ready for the shit we got.........

im running blanks.

my mind is running at a thousand miles per hour and i cant catch one thought.

ive been sorta down lately with all the bullshit around us.

everything is open for everyones taking and no one sees opportunity crackin' that door open.

once i finish this album, i plan on putting a marketing blitz that will be completely original and dope and FUN.

i'd love to share my ideas but i'll keep 'em fresh at the moment.

but cats gotta be realistic. this music industry just isnt the same. everything we learned in the 20th century has to be re-written.

people dont wanna go to shows anymore without knowing its worth it. people dont buy CD's anymore. people dont wanna carry the same posters/stickers/merch as EVERY other fucking artist.

plus these cats think of the business as straight negative. like EVERYTHING ELSE IN LIFE, there are pros and cons to everything. if you HAVE to do the business on your own, find ways to make it enjoyable so that way its somewhat fulfilling. we all hate the business side of things but they dont have to be completely ignored.

ive got plans for you guys......just good NEW original shit.

im hoping ill get a hang of this marketing game.

we'll see. hopfully i wont disappoint ya'll.

taur-bkc